Johnny

I have spent my life forgetting him
leaving him
a fading childhood memory
a shadow of comfort captured in a warm towel
tucked, gently under my arms

My footed pajamas padded after him
a cold, tiled floor
a window fogged with condensation,
toddler indignation

Pre-adolescence called him
turning his back to me

Wishing cannot create memories
cannot recreate what three years could not hold
or more than infancy will surrender

Somewhere I am a sister trying to hold a brother
who hardly heard her speak