Still Learning

The learning curve continues...

I accidentally met the doctor who may have changed my opinion of doctors. The appointment was made with her because my doctor was only available during the afternoon and I desperately needed to get back to work where I was not an asthmatic trying to catch my breath. Sooo I made the appointment knowing I would be so much better by the time I saw her and this "episode" of bronchitis induced asthma would be done.

I went to work on Thursday knowing the doctor probably would not approve. I felt breathless so I took the elevator. The kids were so excited since I had been absent three days and that just does not happen to teachers. With each new group I let them do most of the talking. If I was being completely honest it was because I was light headed from trying to catch my breath and be jovial and keep it together. I knew I was a bit twilight looking. The day went by quickly with new groups every 27 minutes until 1. I stayed to organize what my team had already planned for me, grateful for their help. I felt I had done well, pulled something off. I left after 3 to pick up my son and bring him home. I made snacks. I ignored the cough and dizziness. I left for my follow up.

At 4:45 the doctor came in and asked how I was doing. I said better. She stopped and looked at me. Flustered I tried to explain how bad I had been on Sunday and Monday. This was better. How the breathing then was labored, the chest pain deep. She reviewed my chart astounded at the meds I am allergic to and the number of times I'd been to the office. She ordered a new EKG. Monday's was not so good. As she listened to my heart and lungs I knew the charade was over and only hoped she would help me and not send me off with more meds and another appointment.

The EKG was better but showed my heart was still working too hard to keep up with my breathing. My lungs were clearer. A breathing treatment was done. Prednisone was discussed. This was the decision I regretted. I had said no to prednisone on Monday and Tuesday thinking I could do this without it. Prednisone is a strong anti-inflammatory steroid that works beautifully for asthmatics but raises my blood sugar, makes me sweat, unable to sleep and causes such painful muscle cramps that I would rather be breathless. There was no denying her.

This new doctor gave me the people die of asthma everyday especially in this cold weather speech. I was to go to the emergency room. She had called ahead: chest xray, IV prednisone, breathing treatment, blood work and cardiac evaluation.

I thought of course of my kids, my husband, work. I had just told the boys I would be right back. My husband would want to join me and I could not worry him. I would not be going to work and reading stories to the kids tomorrow. And of course I was afraid and stunned.

"Go immediately, they are expecting you. I will be calling."

And I did, returning home at 3 AM.

And she has called every day, several times a day as I have gotten incrementally better, even though the prednisone is torturing me and I am doing insulin injections. She had encouraged me to get through it and not think of it all but each part individually. She is unusual in her thoughfulness and thoroughness.

She will not make my list.

(The emergency room was another story. A different kind of learning curve for another much longer blog.)